I have had many requests for, questions about, and concerns pertaining to the absence of the poop chronicles. To my legion of fans, I must apologize for my absence. Unfortunately there just hasn't been anything particularly interesting during my bowel banishings lately.
Until tonight...
So after having a nice dinner here in the hotel, I was taking a leisurely stroll
through the lobby on the way back to my room. I decided I wanted something sweet for later. A nice little late night snack. I went up to the pantry, had a look around, and goody goody there was an ice cream sandwich with a chocolate shell type thingy that looked awesome. Sold! With my newly acquired goodness in tow, I returned to my room.
It was upon my return that I realized my error... I have no fridge in this room. Damn it... I would have to eat the ice cream immediately. So I did. About two bites in, you guessed it, I had to poop. And it really wasn't a "don't worry about it, you can take your time" kind of poop. It was more of a "go ahead and test me boy" kind of poop. So I did what any other red blooded 'Murrican would do, I dropped trou and proceeded to deuce while finishing my ice cream.
This was pretty cool. I mean, if I was making a list of my favorite things to do, deucing and eating ice cream would both probably make the top ten. So I finished my ice cream, and proceeded with my first round of T.P. use. I say first round because I realized, well was rather told by my colon, that I wasn't quite done and would need additional clean up shortly.
So as I waited, I saw it... There was something brown on my finger... Here is where the shame comes in. For about 20 seconds, I stared at it debating... It could be chocolate, or it could be something that would not taste like chocolate... The adult side won the battle as I figured, chocolate or not, you did just wipe your ass. Probably best if you don't lick that finger. So I finished up, washed my hands, and am now passing this poop chronicle on to you. Enjoy!
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